This episode of verbal abuse involves name-calling and threatening. As you listen to this attack, keep in mind that verbal abusers may use abuse subconsciously, but, as you’ll see, they’re often rewarded for the behavior. The reward is incentive to continue verbally abusing.
Then again, most verbal abusers use the abuse on purpose and with forethought. Until there is no benefit to using verbal abuse, they will continue to use the tactic or escalate to physical abuse.
Been Here Before
This verbal abuse victim’s step-mother “lost it” before taping began. We do not know the situation that led to this verbal abuse; however, whatever it was certainly does not warrant the verbal attack this teen suffers. Although teenagers can be a handful, it is impossible for him to “make” her act this way.
Video is silent up until 0:34, then starts with a woman’s cough immediately followed by yelling.
Evidently, the abuser asked her step-son for some money so she could buy gas for her car and go to work. At some point before taping began, he must have requested that she “ask nicely.” She repeatedly yells, “I asked nicely the first time!” Or maybe she didn’t.
So what? Even if she did ask to borrow the money, why did she allow the situation to escalate like this? More likely, she never really asked nicely. Verbal abusers often feel entitled to get whatever it is they’re seeking. The step-mom may have told him (not asked him) to give the money to her because she felt entitled to it.
Her attack goes on too long for her not to know what she’s saying and doing. She’s very much in control of the situation and in control of herself. All this female abuser has to do is continue on long enough for her husband to get involved. I think she knows that.
The teenager tells his dad that she’s like this even when he does everything she asks. I get the feeling that the father isn’t new to this abuse himself. He makes excuses for his wife, he gets slightly angry with his son when he says, “You don’t treat your kids like this!”, and begs his son to lend him the money instead of lending it to the step-mom. The teenager does it because his dad asks his to. But when he gives the money to his father, I want to cry.
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