Many women wonder, “How do I get out of an abusive relationship?” Well, I can tell you, it’s as easy (and as hard) as leaving. The decision to walk out that door (or see the police escort him through it) may hit you all at once when you reach the point where you just cannot take the abuse anymore. When you look back on your choice, you may realize it brewed inside you for some time and only seemed to explode all at once.
Once you decide to go, you cannot take your mind off your mind. I mean, it takes careful thought to stay away. You must closely monitor what you think after you leave. Many of the scary things you think come from what the abuser told you and they are not based on facts. Many women “leave” several times before it sticks.
In my case, I left once. The temptation to beg him to take me back reared its ugly head several times! The strange interdependence of our relationship, unhealthy as it was, remained powerful weeks after I’d left.
How do you get out? You just leave. When the thought strikes you, act on it, … go. You deal with the emotions and hardships after you’ve left, one by one, just as you deal with other life changes.
In this interview, I discuss why it took 18 years to leave, the decision process that went into leaving, and the changes I’ve noticed in myself since the divorce a little more than one year ago.
I left an abusive relationship, and I have never been happier!