Verbal Abuse Examples: A List From A Survivor

A survivor wrote this list of verbal abuse examples from experience. Verbal abuse examples are often crude, but can't offend those who hear them daily.The verbal abuse examples in this list aren’t pretty, and there are others I could write (see also: Things Abusers Say And Do). But I need to be true to me and my experience, so I am sorting through things… finally. I appreciate you letting me share. So here I go and I am with hopes that maybe it will help at least one person.

Verbal Abuse Examples From Susan’s Home

These are only some of the examples of verbal abuse and emotional abuse I’ve heard:

Verbal Abuse Examples of Name-Calling

Idiot, Crazy Bitch, Whore, Stupid, Psycho

He made crude names for a woman’s body parts that he knew offended me – Pink Triangle, Couter and others.

“Go sit in the corner and put a hat on it.” (a dunce cap)

Verbal Abuse Examples Showing Disregard and Disrespect

“Shut up.”

“I don’t give a shit about your feelings”

“Go suck a cock.”

“It is none of your fucking business.”

Told me the church that I liked as well as some of my career interests were “fluffy.”

When I gave him a Christmas gift he said, “Shit” and sighed when he grabbed the box to open it.

“You only have $5.00 in your bank account! At least I have a job!” (When I lost my career due to a medical situation).

“Why don’t you fucking leave or get the fuck out of my house.”

Verbal Abuse Examples Include Sexual Devaluation

“You have a nice ass but your friends and the girls in porn have better ones.”

He knows the meaning and value that I tie with sex. He has sex with me and 6 hours later tells me that he wants to break up. He breaks his promise of wanting to give our relationship a chance and tells me that he lied about wanting to make it work. He showed no regard for my emotional well being or respect for my body and spirit.

Lied to me 30 minutes after we had sex saying that he did not have porn on his computer. Then I saw something on his computer 1-2 minutes after that and he then lies to me again and says, “I don’t know how it got there” when he was the only user. Then he lied about the content of what he watched. He lied 3 times in less than 5 minutes to me…30 minutes after I shared the most intimate bond with him.

Several times he would turn his back to me while laying in bed to show he was withdrawing affection to me or if he was wanting to break up or just angry he would have a stone face and not move his lips if I tried to kiss him. This was terrible!

Several times when he knows he hurt me emotionally or several times threatened to break up over the phone or as he would call it “Let’s throw in the towel,” but at his convenience acted like the conversation didn’t happen. His emotional abuse of withdrawing affection and communication was just another tactic to make me feel devalued, unimportant and feel ignored.

“You were just a good fuck.”

Verbal Abuse Examples of Threatening Behavior and Words

“Why don’t you leave, have your geriatric dog leave too and I hope he falls dead.”

When in an argument, he yanked me out of the car and left me in front of this strangers house and did NOT return back to get me and left me with no resources as my cell phone, purse and other was still in his car.

One time I hurt my foot when we were in a big argument. When I told him I thought I broke it, sitting on the kitchen floor crying, his response was, “Quit your whining and crying and leave.”

Anyhow, I guess those are enough for you to see the verbal and emotional abuse right?

Susan’s Other Posts

Susan’s Story of Abuse 

I Left My Abusive Marriage: Why Am I Still In A Mental Fog?

 

 

(Visited 21,799 times, 18 visits today)

Comments

  1. I’m going through the same things right now. Thank you for sharing. I am not alone.

    • to be honest my mom tells me all of these things so idk what to do and i feel like i have depression but when i find help i cant find help

  2. Wow, i guess im not alone. I wish i could tell someone the things he says to me so they can tell me im no crazy.

  3. alexis kiser says:

    I think i am in a verbal abuse relationship but i really can’t tell. I always feel bad after an argument like it was my fault. He tells me im to sensitive or i think to much . when i ask him to stop talking to me like that he tells me im trying to change him and if i cant handle who he is i should just leave.

  4. I feel like I’m in the same situation only I have been in it for 19 years. We own our own home and have 2 children. He has threated to burn the house down if I would try to leave. I have been so afraid to upset him that I find myself lying to him so he won’t get angry. He puts our kids down. Says that if they don’t brush their teeth he will let them all get pulled out. He tells them they stink. If they do something wrong it is my fault because I give them things or allow them to do things. They have gotten bad grades and tells them he can’t wait till they are 18 so they can live under a bridge for all he cares. One time we came home with a pair of shoes and a new pair of laces and he told me I was so stupid for buying those laces. He wouldn’t be able to use them and I better never buy anything like that agian. I want to file for a divorce but I am afraid of how he will act. I feel like just walking away but feel like I have no where to go. Any suggestion?

  5. Anonymous says:

    I, too, am the victim of verbal abuse. I have been married for 20 years and have three kids. He is the scariest person I have every met. No one has ever been so mean to me. I stay for my kids. I am afraid if I leave him he will start verbally abusing them. I am there to take the heat. Last night he drove around with me in the car for an hour insulting me and taunting me. He pulled off on a dirt road and was wanting to hit me. He only gets physical if I do something to start it like pointing my finger at his chest. He was boasting last night how weak I was. Gloating. He called me a dirty bitch, slut, whore, shitty mother, fat like my mother, crazy, mentally ill…it was one of the darkest nights in our relationship. He has been this dark maybe 3-4 other times. I fear for my life during these times. He has the rest of the world fooled. He is kind and sweet and laid back around everyone else. He is the darkest, most terrifying man I have ever met. Thank you for letting me vent. I do not want to talk to friends/family about it because I stay for the kids and they just wouldn’t get it. One day I will get away from this man. Very, very far away and shout from the roof tops about what a piece of shit he is. I record his rants. The funny thing is, he is the weak one. A scared little boy who feels bigger by terrorizing me. For those out there that are in the same situation as I am, I’ll be thinking of you. Know you are not alone.

    • Please get help. You’re not helping your children by “taking the heat”, you are hiring them by letting them think that this is how relationships are supposed to be.

    • Ditto. It took me over 25 years to leave. I too stayed for the kids, he threatened to kill me & them if I left. His rage was insane and never ending. And telling family was hard, they didn’t want to see it. I finally reached out to a DV sheriff unit, and one of them told my abuser. Now the fear of staying was greater than the fear of leaving. I have been out for 6 months, and the abuse continues – but he has new tactics. He plays the victim to the kids and “acts” like their friend now. They “think he’s changed”, but he’s just making me look like the bad, crazy one. And they “think” he’s finally the ‘father’ they always wanted. I also thought I would go right back to being my old self, but, wow, the years of abuse have taken their toll. I’m on my own, but have a long way to go emotionally. And the only support group in Greensboro, NC is so protected, it is very difficult to find out about. You have to be recommended, then meet with the ONE woman who runs it, at her office, with an appointment at her convenience. If she approves you, then she will tell you when & where the meeting is. So sad. I wish you luck, I wish I had left much sooner, for the kids. I really wish I hadn’t been afraid to call the law, and had his rage documented. I know now, it’s his problem not mine.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I am also going through the same things even though hi am no longer with him. It’s as if I am waiting for him to change but I know itvwont happen for me. He still tried to control me with sex every once in a while and discards me like I am dirty bath water. I don’t know how to get over him and move on with my life.

  7. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN June 28,2016P

    I suffered from depression for most of my life. When I was 41 years old I married a very sweet and nice woman. The problem was than when some event made me upset ( Never without this happening ) I would verbally attacked the other person, it could be my wife, my kid, my boss even a policeman.

    When I realized that this condition was affecting my marriage I began to see a psychiatrist, after trying different medications ( it took about one year ) I found the right combination. What the medication did was to delay ” the explosion time ” considerably to the point that now, I do not any more reactions anymore even if the person verbally attacks me. ( including my wife of 35 years ).

    I mention my story to let other know that in some cases ( I do not have a percentage ) the ” abuser ” could be the real victim of his own abuse and suffer emotionally more than the person commonly considered the victim.

    Yes, there is hope that some ” abuser ” can be cured.

    • Is there any way you can tell me what that medication was? My husband has tried a few different ones through his doctor in the past but thinks he doesn’t need medication to control him. He acts on impulse and agitation. It’s usually me he takes it out on by saying mean hurtful, demeaning things. He doesn’t stop until you are bawling your eyes out and he then feels some kind of satisfaction like he’s won the arguement . He thinks he doesn’t need medication and I really think it’s some kind of fight or flight quick reaction and I’m at my wits end. I don’t think he will ever change and I wonder if it helped you, it may help him?!

  8. Anonymous says:

    I’m worried that my parents are in an abusive relationship. My step dad is so distant from my mom. He hardly ever talks to her, and when he does it’s cold and not heartfelt or meaningful at all. He expects her to wait on his every move and gesture, and act like the “perfect wife”, not seen or heard. Even though my mother is a naturally talented and outgoing person. She used to be a fashion designer who had her own local clothing line, owned her own store, and now she works from home and sells stuff on eBay so she has more time to wait on him. And that’s on good days. On worse days, I come home from school and she’s crying in the kitchen because he’s been yelling at her, taunting her, insulting her for the past hour or two. Over trivial things too!! Maybe he thought the food was too salty or he thought she was acting stupid or complaining too much, even though she hardly does at all. He says she thinks too much, that she’s an awful wife, that he never wants to see her again, that she should just leave if it weren’t for her shitty excuse of a child. That’s me by the way. He’s done this several times a month over the course of years. At least 5, and it’s only gotten worse. I can hear him all the way across the house, with insulated walls and everything. The only problem is, he’s never hit her. There’s nothing I can show to anyone else to prove that she’s in an awful situation. She says she loves him and that he needs her help, but in reality it’s her who needs help. I want to help her, or stand up to him or something, but I’m so scared for both of us, and I need proof. I have no idea what to do. It would be great if I could find help here somewhere..

  9. Thank you so much for sharing your story. . .The similarities with my situation (which thankfully, is finally over) are uncanny. I, too, was called horribly degrading names, over and over and over. . .Whore, crazy bitch, slut, stupid, etc. It was almost like brainwashing. He would tell me he loved me, then two days later, tell me, “You are so stupid, guys say anything to get their dicked suck and fucked.” Repeatedly accused me of cheating (even though HE was actually the one cheating). . .Would text me such things as, “Call me when you get off so-and-so’s cock.” Or send me pictures of naked women and tell me had sex with them in my bed, and ask, “How did her ass taste on my cock?” Then a day or two later. . .”I love you and hope you love me.” Repeat. Broke two of my phones. Kicked me out of his house (which was in the country, in the middle of nowhere) too many times to count, then would stand in the yard and watch me cry, almost as if he enjoyed it. Threatened repeatedly to kill our dogs, telling me if he ever found out I was cheating, he would shoot them and hold them by the collar while doing it. Or. . .Would just drop them off by the highway and “hope they make it.” Finally. . .He followed through on his promise and did kill one of them. That’s when I got very serious about getting the hell out.

  10. My experience of being verbally abused has had very bad mixed results with my condition of High-Functioning Autism. My dad has been a total dictator and nutcase: He tries to control what goes on in his house and what me and my mom are saying and doing, and when he gets into an argument with either one of us, he will do whatever it takes to win and silence us by any means necessary. My mom has also been verbally abusive to me. Whenever she has gotten angry at me, she has been a nonstop chatterbox by bragging about things like working jobs, making a living, age, death, and sometimes even deadly diseases. She verbally abused me about subjects like those and has made me live in fear of them ever since. In other words, she made me live in fear and hatred of hard-nosed reality. And the worst part is that she has never even once apologized for saying those things. And that got mixed with my autism very painfully. With my dad, he has been apologetic for his behavior from time to time but not my mom. That’s because my dad has been seeking help to get rid of his behavior, and my mom doesn’t know or even believe she has her own destructive behavior. My parents are good people mostly but their bad behaviors have punished me like being whipped in the back or even the gonads. My mom was raised by her abusive father and helpless mother. My dad was raised by a kinder family, but got infected with a stomach disease that was cured, but ended up infecting his brain by interfering with the ability to both behave well and be in control. And worst of all, he would have no memory of the bad things he did wrong. I can’t really blame my parents for what they have been through before they met and had me; but even so, they have verbally abused me to death and made me live in fear and suffer from depression; and there’s no excuse for that.

  11. my dad yells at me that I eat like a horse and that I weigh 1000 pounds. He makes fun of my fat rolls and if he gets mad he sometimes will almost hit me. One time he disowned me but then he stopped bc my grandparents were over

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

SiteLock