Sharita’s Story of Abuse

I started feeling like nothing I did was ever good enough for him. He would publicly disrespect me, fight me because I didn’t do what he told me to, and withdraw his affection from me.

I am always the one expressing how I feel and he just sits there and listens. Yet when I say something bad about myself he has so much to say to make me feel how he feels about me.

He isolated me from all my friends and tries to do it with my family.

I left him in April but I returned only after 3 months believing his promises that things would be different.

He has been carrying on a relationship with someone else for 2 years now and is expecting a child with her.

I want to leave but fear and doubt that I’m going to miss out on things bring me back every time. I don’t have the right support to leave. I want to speak with somebody about the things I’m going through but I don’t have a job or any medical insurance to cover it.

I suffer from something called PCOS which is cysts on my ovaries. Side effects of that cause me to be very hairy like a man including facial hair and it makes it difficult to have kids and that is something he knows I’ve always wanted. He belittles me about my difficulty to reproduce, having facial hair, and about me losing my job a year ago, and being unable to find work right now.

He makes me feel worthless and helpless. He calls me whore and tells me no one will ever want me because of the number of people I slept with. For some reason now I believe that about myself but I know it isn’t true. I know it’s better for me out there. I know I don’t deserve this but I just can’t seem to walk away and leave it alone.

He also makes me feel like the other girls he is with are better than me prettier and just do everything better than me. When we have sex I feel like he just uses me to satisfy him…like my needs never get met.