Laura B’s Story of Abuse

Laura’s Signs of Being Abused

The first signs were physical abuse, busted lip, being slapped, isolation from my family.  I found out that was not normal when some ladies from a battered women’s shelter came to talk to my church women’s group.

The second time was verbal abuse and accusations of me having affairs, which weren’t true. My parents and children helped me realize that I was being abused.

Laura’s Emotional Signs of Abuse

Anger, Hopelessness, Feeling all alone

Laura’s Story of Abuse

Laura's Story of Abuse at VerbalAbuseJournals.comI was married twice to abusers. The first marriage from 84-96 was to a man who physically abused me, he broke my nose and busted my lip many times. He put his hand through the windshield of the car and put holes in our walls.

I had already decided I wasn’t worth saving, but when he started to abuse my children who were 3 and 5 at the time, I realized it was time to get out. I took the children and we stayed in a shelter because my ex threatened to kill me.

The second marriage was for three years in 08 until Jan. 2012, when I just got divorced.  I felt like he was all right because he never laid a hand on me. There was just lots of verbal abuse and intimidation.

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  1. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think anyone will really understand what I’m going through. I need help…. I’m tired of holding everything in… It makes everything worse….. I was always known as “the girl who is too nice”.. I don’t know what I did to deserve being treated like this… But then again I think in my head that I do deserve all the pain..

    • I don’t know why we feel we deserve the pain…it takes time out of the relationship to begin to believe you do not deserve it. When the abuse is constant in your life, it takes all you’ve got to dig yourself out from under the shit of that one day. Letting loose of the pain from previous days is practically impossible. Over time, the pain we feel tricks us into believing that we must have done something to deserve it. Because we hold onto the pain, we feel it is there for a “reason”.

      I wish I could tell you how to stop believing you deserve it. The only advice I can give is that you leave the relationship as soon as possible. Whether you believe you deserve the abuse or not, everyone has a limit to the amount of pain they can hold.

  2. Anonymous says:

    In your mind you think, if I just don’t argue it will be ok. If I go along with what he says, it will be ok. No matter what you say or do it will never be ok. It is hard when someone breaks your self esteem to the lowest point and you feel as though you will never do better, or have better in life, and yes it takes a lot to build it all back up, but it can be done. I cannot tell a person to leave because you already know that is what you need to do, doing it is something else. I will say this, have a plan in mind, don’t just decide to up and go put things into perspective inside your mind. Act on it when the time is right you will know it, but you cannot look back once you do decide that this is what you need to do. Looking back is what he wants even if he is not there physically. Look in the mirror and tell yourself everyday quietly that I am beautiful and I love myself. When your brushing your teeth, combing your hair, washing your face, or looking at that bruise. Slowly but surely you will gain confidence once again, and life will begin to make sense in a new light,but you have to want it more than anything else, especially if you have children involved. Smile I am a survivor.

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