Linda’s Signs of Being Abused
When it [the relationship] became 70 percent negative… it just escalates each year.
Linda’s Emotional Signs of Abuse
Depression, Hopelessness, Confusion
Linda’s Story of Abuse
I once thought it was the alcohol. But now it’s name calling and negative down talk in the morning from time my eyes open. He says I am worthless, aging, fat, useless. He drills how worthless I am into my head constantly. He never has a kind word and when he does I am once again hopeful. Although I keep a spotless home and take wonderful care of our son.
I feel crazy sometimes…. He has convinced everyone he’s wonderful and adores me? He has a split personality I believe. I am amazed how he can treat me one way in front of others, but when he gets home at 11 pm from the bar he is a different person. He wakes us (my son and I) up ranting and raving… its always something I have done wrong. I didn’t wash the dishes, its always something negative.
I walk on eggshells when he comes in under the influence… I never know how extreme his verbal ranting becomes, sometimes 15 minutes or one hour. Its like living in HELL. He’s extremely jealous… yet he has women friends he buys drinks for and talks to at the bar. He tells me how I am fat and unattractive everyday. He wants me to wear clothes that cover my entire body. Long dresses he hates jeans and tells me never wear tight shorts.
He keeps his money separate and if I ask for money he gives me lectures and makes me feel so bad about it that I just quit asking. He gives me around 50.00 for a whole month for food. I have my own money and its up to me to feed and cloth my child. He will order hundreds of dollars worth of clothes online and boxes of stuff show up. NEVER anything for us. IF he shows any kindness its usually to show off.
I can no longer blame it on his drinking. We rarely go anywhere together. I quit going places with him it was so miserable. He knows he has me captive in a vehicle. I am 50 now and want to be loved so badly and respected by a man. He hasn’t touched me in a kind way in 8 years. When I am sick I depend on my friends.
I had gotten so sick myself from the verbal influence that I allowed others to treat me badly this is where I knew I had to start helping myself. I know I am a good person and deserve so much more than this… because this is like living a nightmare and I am tired of pretending its all okay!