Jenny’s Story of Abuse

Jenny’s Signs of Being Abused

The logical explanation for all this post going missing was that he was hiding it, but it seemed so irrational & malicious that I didn't want to face it.I didn’t realize it was abuse until I came across the term “gaslighting” on Mumsnet. I found out what he did when I came across piles of letters he’d been hiding from me. We had a big row and he promised not to do it again. Then I found a whole load of old letters a couple of years later after I’d thrown him out.

Jenny’s Emotional Signs of Abuse

Anger, Bewilderment, Desperation

Jenny’s Story of Abuse

I was gaslighted. My ex would hide my post – bills etc. – then I would get a red bill with a surcharge for late payment. Once I got bailiffs come round because I’d been taken to court without even knowing – he’d hidden all the letters to do with it. I’d not receive birthday cards etc. and think people had forgotten me.

He would watch me rage about how crap the post was, all the time knowing that he’d hidden the letters in the books, knowing I’d find them some day. If I asked him if he’d picked the letters up by mistake and thrown them away, he’d deny it and I’d feel guilty about doubting him. At the back of my mind I knew the only logical explanation for all this post going missing, was that he was hiding it, but it seemed so mad and irrational and malicious, that I didn’t want to face it – also I felt guilty about not believing him.

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