Amanda’s Signs of Being Abused
I always knew I was different. I was one of six children in the house, and I was the only one ever being hurt.
Amanda’s Emotional Signs of Abuse
Unworthiness, Disgust, Anger
Amanda’s Story of Abuse
Ever since I was a wee child I had it. Bruises, scars, blood, it all seemed almost natural to me. I never knew a body that was strong, my feeble skeleton was my normal. I had my sanctuary of my mother’s house every weekend. My time to heal, my time to be free, my time to eat.
Once she moved it was just me and my dad it seemed. His words hurt, but I never knew how much silence could sting. I was nonexistent in the eyes of my brothers and sisters. Not a word ever muttered to me.
Morsels of food, nights on the street, and a beaten body weren’t enough torture for him. On my eleventh birthday, he had to take my virginity as well. After that there was always “special time” at least twice a day. Once my brother interrupted, he saw, and just walked back out the door.
I have been stabbed, burned, and used for my fathers own sexual pleasure, and even that I thought I could handle. Three weeks after my first period (13 years old) I found out I was pregnant with my father’s child. As hard as I tried to keep it from him, He found out and the poor child’s life was taken.
I lived through this until I was 16, only a year ago. And after that I have been staying in a homeless shelter because I was lucky enough to get away. All I ever wanted was a family. To this day, all I want, is a family.
I may be walking down the right path, school and on to become a social worker, but I am walking down the path lost, confused and alone. It seems that a thick fog is always above me, not even granting myself the comfort of my own shadow.
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Did you leave an abusive relationship? Tell us how you did it at How I Left Abuse.
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