Amanda’s Story of Abuse

Amanda’s Signs of Being Abused

I have been stabbed, burned, and used for my dad's pleasure, and I thought I could handle it. But 3 weeks after my first period I found out I was pregnant.I always knew I was different. I was one of six children in the house, and I was the only one ever being hurt.

Amanda’s Emotional Signs of Abuse

Unworthiness, Disgust, Anger

Amanda’s Story of Abuse

Ever since I was a wee child I had it. Bruises, scars, blood, it all seemed almost natural to me. I never knew a body that was strong, my feeble skeleton was my normal. I had my sanctuary of my mother’s house every weekend. My time to heal, my time to be free, my time to eat.

Once she moved it was just me and my dad it seemed. His words hurt, but I never knew how much silence could sting. I was nonexistent in the eyes of my brothers and sisters. Not a word ever muttered to me.

Morsels of food, nights on the street, and a beaten body weren’t enough torture for him. On my eleventh birthday, he had to take my virginity as well. After that there was always “special time” at least twice a day. Once my brother interrupted, he saw, and just walked back out the door.

have been stabbed, burned, and used for my fathers own sexual pleasure, and even that I thought I could handle. Three weeks after my first period (13 years old) I found out I was pregnant with my father’s child. As hard as I tried to keep it from him, He found out and the poor child’s life was taken.

I lived through this until I was 16, only a year ago. And after that I have been staying in a homeless shelter because I was lucky enough to get away. All I ever wanted was a family. To this day, all I want, is a family.

may be walking down the right pathschool and on to become a social worker, but I am walking down the path lost, confused and alone. It seems that a thick fog is always above me, not even granting myself the comfort of my own shadow.

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Comments

  1. Kellie Jo Holly says:

    Amanda, I hope the fog lifts soon, if it hasn’t already. You are obviously an intelligent girl. Is the shelter helping you with your education?

  2. kim Neal says:

    I guess that makes ,my problems seem so small , big hug , you are worth more

    <3

  3. I think you should continue to follow your dreams until you get to where you want to go. There IS a pot of gold at the end, you will make a fabulous social worker and I wish you nothing but the best. Stay strong and know that NO ONE can every take your dreams away, ever!

  4. Dianna Short says:

    Amanda..what words could I tell you. You are strong in your spirit! I am so sorry that the one place you were to be safe was the most dangerous for you. I wish you the very best.

  5. Amanda, stay the course. I can’t imagine being in your situation. As horrible as my home life was as a teen, I never would have had the courage to walk away. I admire your strength. Education is key. Not only educating yourself about abuse and how to emerge victorious from it, but higher education as well. Get through high school, and go on to college. An education is something no one can ever take away from you. It’s very empowering. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do it; YOU CAN! Be an overcomer!

  6. So thankful you were able to get out of that mess! Blessings to you. Give yourself time to heal and be restored. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Just take things one day at a time. Don’t project into the future, just work on today. Sometimes we have to take life and hour at a time and sometimes a moment at a time to get through it. You’ve made a courageous first step. Keep moving forward and don’t look back. You’re worth SO much more.

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