Once you set your personal boundaries, you do not have to tell a person who crosses your line why you’re doing what you’re doing unless you want to do so. With no warning at all, you can simply walk away from the conversation or interrupt to say what you need to say. There’s no guarantee the person will listen to you either way, so be prepared to do what you say you will do.
Book Excerpt I’ve been told that I don’t admit my faults, that I am verbally abusive, that I am physically abusive. These are ideas I’ve struggled with myself. … More than once. Will says that I’m not honest because I do not tell the other side of the story; I do not tell of how I’ve […]
Victim or Survivor? There has to be a different word for what I have experienced and what is to come. I don’t feel like repeating the word “victim” to myself or portraying myself as such. I am a “survivor” of abuse; however, the word survivor brings to my mind those who have been shot, bloodied, […]
I am not saying that what I habitually do or say EXCUSES any abuse, nor am I saying that what I do or say CONTROLS Will’s actions or reactions. I’m saying that the things I do and say (out of habit) ENABLES the abusive cycle or abusive dynamic to continue.
The little kid in me wants to shout, “It’s not fair!” and run away fast and hard. I want to put all the blame on HIM. I want HIM to be the big bad wolf and leave me to be the little pig who had the foresight to build a brick house, light the fire, put on the pot, and plop on the lid when Big Bad finally falls down the chimney.
I just ran across Brian Fox’s website. He wrote a pamphlet entitled “Why Don’t They Just Leave?” to help the friends of domestic abuse victims understand what they can and cannot do to help their suffering friend. Here’s an excerpt: Hope is something that you need to be aware and careful of. When someone is […]
I’ve got so much goin’ for me. And you’ve got so much goin’ for you! But when the person you love most in the world, that you think is your other half, that you’ve been told you can trust, that he will always be there for you…when that person that you’ve given your mind and body and soul to takes your mind and soul, crumples them up in a little ball, and throws it away like it doesn’t matter to him?… It’s hard to love him anymore.
Will decided to return to the Army. I had no choice. I can’t help but wonder if he chose this particular time to make this drastic move to disrupt my goal to complete my bachelor’s degree. Now, years in the future, if that was his plan, I know it worked. It wasn’t until I separated from him in 2010 that I was able to return to college.