Anyone experiencing repeated traumas as with domestic abuse can be triggered unexpectedly. Even so, identifying triggers leads us to better mental health because once we identify the triggers, we can stop them from hurting us.
I’m doing it again. I’m losing my mind in match-3 computer games that let me ignore unpleasant thoughts. I tried believing that playing those games relaxes my brain and that matching colored balls on Bubble Witch qualifies as a healthy, mindful activity. In reality, the games help me keep nothing on my mind. In thinking’s absence, I can avoid asking questions […]
I feel that anyone could lethally wound me with a glance. I feel exposed to many elements of my mind; exposed and in danger, not exposed and protected. My fiance, Jarimie, wants to protect me when I feel vulnerable. But how can he protect me from myself? From my thoughts and fears? He cannot do […]
Telling me that my rape is the source of our problems is a diversion. It turns me away from whatever Will is doing and causes me to examine myself. By blaming my past for our current problems is also wrong. Will blames me for our problems without taking any responsibility for his behavior.
Carolyn wrote an abuse testimonial a couple of months ago. I hadn’t posted it yet because I didn’t really want to think about my own abuse. That wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry Carolyn, that you waited so long. As you read through it, think about the years Carolyn has lived with this verbal, emotional and mental […]
The After Action Review of my temper tantrum (earlier post) has already uncovered one problem area for me, and that is the negative voice in my head that wants me to take responsibility for other people’s actions, blames me for everything, and helps to keep my frustration and anger high. Next, I’d like to point […]
I want to share my life, but I keep everyone at a distance. I feel like there is something more to it that I just don’t get. I am cycling downward again. This struggle seems never-ending. Visions of horrors I cannot make real by writing them out play in my mind over and over…