The Unhealthy Silence of Abuse

The silence of abuse destroyed my ability to end the abuse in my marriage. I maintained my silence for many reasons, all of which made sense to me at the time. From a feeling of loyalty to feelings of fear, reaching out for help became harder and harder to imagine. I didn’t open myself to […]

PTSD Diagnosis Is Common for Abuse Survivors…Why Do I Feel Ashamed? launched the Stand Up For Mental Health Campaign a couple of weeks ago, just as I received a second mental health diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’ve long wondered if my symptoms added up to PTSD, but knowing that a psychiatrist believes I have PTSD affected me. Negatively. Being diagnosed with PTSD affected […]

Amanda’s Story of Abuse

Amanda’s Signs of Being Abused I always knew I was different. I was one of six children in the house, and I was the only one ever being hurt. Amanda’s Emotional Signs of Abuse Unworthiness, Disgust, Anger Amanda’s Story of Abuse Ever since I was a wee child I had it. Bruises, scars, blood, it all […]

Alyssa’s Story of Abuse

Alyssa’s Signs of Being Abused It wasn’t until my lawyer referred to my ex as an abuser that I was able to acknowledge to myself that she was abusive and I was forever going to be a victim of domestic abuse. Alyssa’s Emotional Signs of Abuse Anger, Numbness, Despair Alyssa’s Story of Abuse At first, I thought she was […]

You Hate Men! Well, That Was A Diversion Tactic

Telling me that my rape is the source of our problems is a diversion. It turns me away from whatever Will is doing and causes me to examine myself. By blaming my past for our current problems is also wrong. Will blames me for our problems without taking any responsibility for his behavior.

About Abuse

Any person, male or female, can be an abuser to any other male or female. Any type of close relationship such as marriage or homosexual partnerships, parent-child relationships, caregiver-elderly relationships and any other you can think of could be or become abusive. Women experience abuse more often than men, although newer statistics show the gap […]

Sex and Emotional Abuse

Today the following entry amazes me. I wrote the truth. I drew the truth. My unconscious mind knew he abused me and I knew I walked a dark path. But I went down it anyway. I didn’t know anything about emotional abuse. I wish someone had told me when I was young. From 1992 Journal Entry: “Maybe […]

Opals and Roses for 10th Anniversary – Rape 2 Nights Before

Gotta love those honeymoon periods. Or maybe I gotta love how desperate my brain is to protect me from the truth. Will raped me to regain power over me so I would agree that returning to the military was a good idea.

Sexual Abuse is Sometimes the Nice Way to Say Rape

One more thing, I think Will DID know what he was doing. He was sweet right after, but said he didn’t want to feel this way again – what “way” was he talking about? He felt bad which meant he knew what he was doing.

No More Children

Worthless. Poopy. Bad. Careful. Never mind. What is it to fear? In my head or in reality? No more babies. No more pregnancies. Good and Bad. Positive and Negative. Glad and Sad at some times mostly sad. Mad but no one to blame.