Domestic Violence Response Strategy Saves Lives-Take a Quiz

Fatalities from domestic violence cases in Maryland are down 30% thanks to a simple 16 question checklist and a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the time of the 911 call response. After the officer gives the quiz, she or he calls a number that allows the victim to talk to the National […]

My Abusive Marriage Recap

While reorganizing this website, I came across some pages that don’t fit the site any longer. But I didn’t want to get rid of their brief synopses of the abuse suffered through the years. So I thought I’d add them to a brand new page and see if brevity works as well as deep explanation for […]

Abuse Survivor Fights PTSD and Depression And Wins

Today is rough. I looked back on my life to see how my mental illnesses affect my relationships with others (Is PTSD from Domestic Abuse Causing Your Distress?). This is hard to do because I didn’t ask for these mental illnesses; I wasn’t born with PTSD or depression! I never asked for the car accident with my […]

I Called My Local Sheriff’s Department (Non-Emergency)

I called the Sheriff’s department and spoke with the person in charge of domestic violence cases. I wanted to find out as much as I could about the process that occurs after calling the police to a domestic disturbance. Knowing what could happen if you call the police can give you the courage to actually call them if you need them.

Anatomy of A Fight

Originally I titled this “What I Cause” to reflect the feelings my abuser wanted me to assume. It worked for many years. He said it was my fault he blew up in rages, my fault he calmed down and used all his strength to revert to a position of protector, the one who had to clean up my mess.

About Abuse

Any person, male or female, can be an abuser to any other male or female. Any type of close relationship such as marriage or homosexual partnerships, parent-child relationships, caregiver-elderly relationships and any other you can think of could be or become abusive. Women experience abuse more often than men, although newer statistics show the gap […]

The Moonlight Dance

The subconscious dance I participated in with my ex steals my thoughts today. I want to look deep inside the belly of the beast inside myself and paint a true portrait of my abusive marriage with my own blood. I don’t want his blood – I cannot pretend to know what he was doing or […]

Murder Suicide

Book Excerpt Abusers kill their wives and then themselves because once she is finally dead and motionless on the floor, he realizes that the life spark was hers and hers alone. In killing her, he sought to absorb her; now that All is gone from her, he realizes he will never ever and had never […]

Looking for the Enemy In Abusive Marriage Seems Unhelpful

I am not saying that what I habitually do or say EXCUSES any abuse, nor am I saying that what I do or say CONTROLS Will’s actions or reactions. I’m saying that the things I do and say (out of habit) ENABLES the abusive cycle or abusive dynamic to continue.

Distraction as a Method to Get Out of Trouble

The After Action Review of my temper tantrum (earlier post) has already uncovered one problem area for me, and that is the negative voice in my head that wants me to take responsibility for other people’s actions, blames me for everything, and helps to keep my frustration and anger high. Next, I’d like to point […]