The Day It Started

Red Door Productions introduces #TheDayItStarted as a prompt for abuse victims to tell about their earliest memory of domestic abuse.

Today Is Better Than Dreadful Thanks to Intuition

Fortunately, today is a better day thanks to the helpful people I found while following my intuition. I know, beyond a doubt, that I am capable of surviving without a car, without a home, without a job and without a shower. The intuition I used to build the support network I needed to leave my ex-husband proved its flexibility to get me off the street and into an apartment. Into a job. I survived.


I know a woman whose mother told her, “If you ever hit a man, expect him to hit back.” It bothered me when she said it and it’s bugging me again this morning. Why is the advice “man” specific? Wouldn’t it make as much sense to say, “If you ever hit someone, expect them to hit back”? […]

Change Through Resistance Feels Like a Fight

Maybe it hurts because it’s supposed to hurt. He meant to hurt me. “Goodbye and good luck.” I think he meant to threaten me, too. The “good luck” part was not lovingly said, you know. On a high note, this could be the first time he’s ever wished me good luck in anything.

Will I Get A Miracle?

Sam must start over as new & his wife gets to be there for him. She gets her miracle. Will I be able to watch my husband start over? Will I get to love him again?

Gnawing Hurt-My Reality Counts For Something. Right?

My reality counts for something. Right? It was agony. Maybe it was agony because I was hurting ALONE. Just like now, I alone hurt for this marriage, for my husband, for my children, and for me. He doesn’t hurt because he doesn’t believe the problem is abuse. He thinks it is me.

Angel Teaches Personal Boundaries

Dear God, What can I do for Will? Listen to God closely and still the echoes in your heart, including those that you do not remember so well. Do not do for Will what it is you think you need. Be a pillar of strength and understanding, but do not mope for him. Don’t be […]

Conversation With Depression

This journal entry comes from a 6-month separation from Will as he re-trained for the Army. While selling our house in Texas, the boys and I moved to Indiana to stay with my grandmother. I was very sad most of the time we were there. I didn’t miss Will, and I didn’t know what was […]

Staying In Abusive Marriage

I prayed for our marriage & believed staying in abusive marriages like mine was somehow God’s plan. I thought I was powerful enough to change my husband.

Conversation With Truth, the Hardest Angel to Hear

I don’t believe I am talking to an angel. There is no peace and comfort here. If this is true, it could be less painful. I will continue to ask God to let me keep my baby.