Staying in abusive marriages is not what God wants for his children. For crying out loud, He exiled Lucifer from His presence for trying to take over heaven! And isn’t our body supposed to be God’s temple? His heaven?
Even so, I prayed for our marriage to work, deluding myself in thinking God himself wanted me to stay in a marriage that left me unhappy and weakened most days. God wants us strong and joyful so we can follow His path for us. Staying in abusive marriages does not promote God’s goal (more on God and divorce at hurtbylove.com). Nevertheless, He stayed beside me, nudging me to see the light although my future was dark.
It’s great that I was in a good mood this day, but my delusion that Will and I are on the “same path” is something I made up to make myself feel better. His crazy making and emotionally abusive behaviors left me alone to reach my own conclusions about what he felt. Being optimistic by nature, I made the mistake of re-assigning my feelings to Will.
Will kept me in the dark about his feelings so he could use my ignorance against me. You can really get hurt by staying in abusive marriages.
August 31, 2000
Jesus loves me this I know, for He hast now told me so. In my heart He lives and breathes, taking care of every need.
I am just happy today. The Book of Luke is very uplifting. I think I needed a shot of good feeling because I’m so hard on myself and to fortify myself to meet my goals.
My prayer is the same – that I heed the call of God to follow in His steps and not forge my own path through slop. Although I haven’t been able to share my goals with Will, I feel that he is on board too, and that unites us and strengthens us forever.