We’ve been together a decade now. We’re in the middle of some horrible situations. He is going back into the Army with no input from me. He used sex to punish me a few nights ago. What am I thinking?

I’m probably thinking: He’s the breadwinner, he should be happy at work, and he was happy in the military.

Will always gets a pass. I always give in. I don’t like to hold grudges, I don’t want to rock his boat. I don’t want to suffer his wrath. And for what? More angst, more pain, more disrespect, and less control over my own destiny.

Gotta love those honeymoon periods.

April 11, 2001

I am looking forward to graduation and having a little peace. You know, getting this far in school has really been an accomplishment. I am proud of myself.

Our 10th anniversary was yesterday. Will got me some pretty opal earrings and some roses. I am really happy with us, too. I am just a proud person.

He is such a part of me. We’re celebrating this weekend.