Honeymoon periods during the abusive cycle serve to convince the victim that things aren’t so horrible in the relationship after all. The abuser acts pleasant, sweet, sometimes terribly romantic and loving. Some women experience adrenaline rushes and incredible sexual attraction during the honeymoon period. The “love” acts like a drug – it’s addicting and enables the victim to excuse the abusive behaviors that occur at other times.
During the honeymoon periods, I typically had more energy, felt happier and less depressed, and convinced myself that we were through the hard times. Unfortunately, the happier I became, the angrier Will would get. He didn’t like me happy (because I was harder to control), but he didn’t want me so upset that I would consider leaving him.
February 15, 1998
Well, it’s Marc’s first day of Sunday school. I am so proud of him! I was nervous to leave him (a little hard to let go for even an hour!). However, he practically pushed me out of the room with his eyes. He was looking at the teacher and two little girls with a big beaming smile!
And this morning he was very particular about what he wore. No overalls and nothing I picked. He had to pick it himself. Green jeans and a green/yellow/red striped shirt. What a sweetie! I’m so proud of him.
Last night for Valentine’s Day we had a special dinner. I covered the table with a pink and white sheet and lit two candles. I put everyone’s Valentines and candy on their plates. Even Will appreciated it. He’s been so loving and attentive lately!
When we finished eating, the boys couldn’t wait to blow out the candles. Dinner was fun for us all.
I’ve been working out for two weeks and I’m already seeing some changes. My arms are more defined and the flab is coming off my upper body. That is expected to happen first I guess, but I can hardly wait until it comes off my butt!