August 17, 1998
Right now I am feeling SO worried about money. I know $250 is needed, but where is the line between trusting God to provide and doing what I know needs to be done? Is that $250 something I work for or pray about?
Wait…I am to pray about it and follow the guided path.
I talked to Marc about Noah. It was fun for both of us.
I have a some questions to ask God – Was the flood a mistake? Is it something You feel badly about or was the action justified? If it was justified, why did You promise not to do it again? Is my theory that Jesus replaced a “flood” correct?
And God, why do I feel alone in the world? Why is there such a distance between Will and me? Why doesn’t he want to hang out with his boys? Why am I the only one talking to our boys about you, but he’s the one who insists they be Catholic? Why do we have to do everything his way and why does he have to be so rude when he tells us to do it? Why doesn’t he love me? Why can’t we get along? What do I need to do to make it easier for him to love me? Why can’t you press a button and make all this better?