February 13, 1998
Last night I had a dream. Remember Dachau with rows upon rows of building foundations but no barracks? I remember thinking, “Why did they remove the buildings?” and got the answer, “So they wouldn’t hear the screaming.”
It was very strange until I started wondering what it meant.
What have I removed from my memory so I wouldn’t have to hear the screaming?
It wasn’t until 2009 as I flipped through old journals to create Verbal Abuse Journals that I found one such forgotten memory – an instance of physical abuse.
Will physically abused me in 1996. He grabbed my jaw (I think he was aiming for my throat) and moved me around until he had me where he wanted. Of course I couldn’t talk back with my jaw in his hand, so he got his way – me, subservient and quiet. I had forgotten about it altogether until reading my entry.
Read My Abusive Marriage…and what i’m doing in it…you’ll think I married your husband.
- Saying Something Stupid
- Angels and Peace
- Moral Inventory
- Bad Day
- Forgetting to Scream
- Walkin’ On Sunshine
- His Goals For Me
- Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy
- Who Do I Want To Be?
- An Angel Speaks of Money
- Blind Isolation
- Mere Woman
- Hateful Things And Hidden Memories
- Conversation With Truth
- I Will Always Be Hopeful