Counseling with a therapist familiar with domestic abuse made all the difference. By the time I found her, my perfect therapist, I’d seen three others (domestic violence counselor at the Army DSS, individual, domestic violence counselor at NC DSS). None of them did for me what she was able to do.
What I Hoped to Accomplish
Maybe we matched so well because I was finally ready to see the light. Or maybe it was because I told her from the beginning that I wanted to learn ways to deal with emotional and verbal violence. Whatever the case, together we devised effective coping strategies.
My results were phenomenal. I found my center and was able to make sound decisions regarding my marriage, my children and myself.
Find “the right” counselor. You get to decide who is the right counselor, no one else. If you don’t feel comfortable with a therapist after three visits, continue counseling but start looking for a better match.
There are different kinds of therapies available to you. I recommend one that deals with the here and now and answers questions like “What can I do today to better handle the abuse I’m experiencing?
All therapists will ask you about your childhood and your parents, but the focus needs to be on today and what to do about it so you can make healthy changes and feel better almost immediately.
A friend of mine does Narrative Therapy which helps you to change the stories you tell yourself. You can read about that here.