My Abusive Marriage - One Story of Abuse

I read my old journals to convince myself that I did not live a story of abuse. But one journal entry after another showed evidence of abuse in my marriage. The abuse made me emotionally and mentally sick too. I yelled and hardly recognized my disoriented eyes in the mirror. My ex-husband and I hurt our children by playing out the cycle of abuse, utilizing the power and control wheel without either of us knowing what was really going on. I share my private journal entries about the abuse in my marriage with you because recognizing abuse is the first step to freeing yourself from it.

 

 

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The Day It Started

Red Door Productions introduces #TheDayItStarted as a prompt for abuse victims to tell about their earliest memory of domestic abuse.

Red Door Productions introduces #TheDayItStarted as a prompt for abuse victims to tell about their earliest memory of domestic abuse.

Blind Isolation

You don't always know you're being isolated...you don't always know you're being abused.

Logs In Your Eyes

log

An Angel Speaks of Money

financial abuse

Who Do I Want To Be?

He takes over my mind without me realizing he's doing it. His thoughts become mine - no wonder I'm confused.

Depression Relief, Delusions of Joy

delusions of joy

His Goals For Me

by 1998, I didn't even know what I wanted for me anymore. His goals were my goals, inserted into my mind over time with brainwashing (both sweet and nasty).

Walkin’ On Sunshine

honeymoon periods found me full of life and energy, yet dreading the possibility that the honeymoon would end.

Forgetting to Scream

Monument at Dachau

Bad Day

Frustration often flows downhill. Not that my children are less than me, but they are smaller and easier to express anger toward than my husband. It wasn't fair. They have always deserved better.