My Abusive Marriage is the blog that helped me say goodbye to my abuser forever. Well, almost forever. We have two teenage sons together, so our relationship is still “forever”. I just don’t have to listen to his nonsense anymore and get to live in my own peaceful home. These are the most posts from the blog:
Frightened? Or Reminded? - My ex’s friend said that that my ex-husband plans to do “disgusting” things and then kill me when our youngest son is 18. I guess that makes sense in that asshole’s feeble mind. He always told the boys that when they were 18 he’d give them a suitcase for their birthdays. Since he will be done being their father when they reach 18, in his mind I will be done being their mother…
Abusive Relationship Book – Because of this blog, I’ve connected with at least 4,000 women and some men. They’ve told me that my blog opened their eyes to the problems in their relationship. They thank me for sharing my experience because they experience my pain, but couldn’t bring themselves to use the words “domestic abuse” to describe their marriage. However, …
People Pleaser – I am only beginning to define what is important to me. I can share one thing that is helping me to turn off my exaggerated “people-pleasing” tendency. Like most aspects of healing, this process starts with a question. I’ll use Will, my husband, and his expectation that I keep the house clean as an example.
Rant – I feel pissed off this afternoon. I just woke up; it’s 2 PM. I remember making myself go back to sleep around 11 AM because when I woke up then I was yelling at myself in my head. Reasons why I could be angry? I’m not sure. My thoughts are confused. I’m going to list them as they come to me. I’ll decide if they’re valid angry thoughts later.
Quiet Desperation - I don’t remember seeing the second sentence before, so I felt surprise when I found the quote online in full. I always thought the quote referred to the quiet struggles we all go through daily and the struggles we contend with throughout our lives. I haven’t thought about desperation equaling resignation, and well, I just can’t bear to believe I resigned myself to failure.
Chemical Burn - When I woke up this morning and saw the stack of unrinsed dishes in the kitchen, the oddest thought came to me: What would Jesus do? And then, the stupidest answer: He’d tell you to do the dishes, bitch!
Ex Wants to Fight – And fight ugly, of course. You would think 2 1/2 years of separation would weaken his need to judge, insult, lie and bully. He says, “The bottom line is you are nothing more than a bottom feeder and … You are unreasonable and have no concept of what a parent’s responsibilities are!!! …You are truly a disappointment!”
Denial – Have I enjoyed it for too long? – Those “old guilts” lead into the denial I’ve felt over the past weeks. If I ignore the small stuff, then it’s not happening. But it is happening – already happened – and now I’m behind the power curve without the energy needed to right it all quickly. I think denial turns me into a paper doll – faceless, flat, unable to enjoy the colors of life. Denying small problems allows them to progress into big ones.