The Homeless Chapter

I don’t know much. At least I know I don’t know much. Life takes twists and turns that seemed impossible only days before. Now, more than any other time in my life, I am uncertain what tomorrow brings.

Over the past year and a half I’ve lived with my sister, my grandmother, my fiance and then with my fiance in a tent. Finally, I’m with my fiance in an apartment. But I haven’t paid one dime in rent for two months so I’m about ready to haul the tent out of storage.

I worry my environment hinders my abilities. I want so much more peace for myself than I have right now. My patience with being patient is wearing thin. I don’t know why homelessness and financial devastation happened to me. However,  after living through it, I empathize more thoroughly with victims of domestic violence who leave their abusers while having no money of their own. Thank you, Kassandra, for pointing out that this trial is also a blessing. I choose to believe this crisis point in my life came about to teach me valuable lessons in empathy and resourcefulness that will prove beneficial when The Emergency Fund, Inc. gets going.

I do not blame anyone for my financial problems. I cannot rightly blame myself because hindsight reveals no errors on my part. The money I had went for needed purposes. Except I wish I’d bought a car for myself before I bought one for a family member who promptly stopped helping me after receiving the car. This family member also gave me the tent (for which I was surprisingly grateful). That is an expensive lesson to learn again – take care of myself first. Maybe I’ll remember it from here on out.

Except for the money spent on my family member’s car, I responsibly managed my finances. Eventually, I had no finances to manage.

And there is where this chapter in my life begins.

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About Kellie Jo Holly

Kellie Jo Holly passionately advocates against domestic violence through her writing and mentoring service. She loves helping women cope with abuse while in the relationship and supporting them as they leave the relationship and begin to heal. You can also find Kellie on Google+, Facebook and Twitter. You can buy her books from Amazon.

Comments

  1. You will persevere. You have survived the trauma of domestic abuse. You are a survivor.

  2. Thank you, Don. So far, so good!

  3. So sorry to hear what you are going through, Kellie. You are so right about always taking care of yourself first. It’s like they tell you on airlines about putting your oxygen mask on yourself first before trying to help your children. At least you do have one by your side who loves you (at least I sincerely hope so!). Hang in there.

  4. What is worse than not having the resources to get you out of a situation involving abuse, is to have your family and friends continue to tell you, “If he is doing this, just leave!” When you don’t leave, because the alternative is being broke, on the street, and your credit score plummeting, then the alternative of getting intermittent abuse seems like a much better choice. In this country, if you don’t have a decent credit score, you are screwed–being broke for a little while shouldn’t be a seven-year financial death sentence, but it is and that is why women are suffering abuse and kids are having to live with their parent(s) (possibly in the same abusive relationship as their mother), until they can establish credit as well. “Just leaving” a bad situation sounds really good; however, it is just white-picket-fence thinking and not reality. Homeless shelter?…no way–I’d rather take my chances with the abuser.

  5. BTW Kelly, it took me 4 years, but I’m finally financially independent–there is a silver lining ahead, you just have to hang in there. Pray, a lot.

  6. Frightening situation, Kellie. Are your kids with you? I was the one in my situation who had an income (Social Security Disability). So the odd “twist” to my abuse story is I’m concerned for HIS well-being & potential toward homelessness. He’s a Vietnam Veteran (of two tours) and he has an anxiety condition (no need to belabor that further). As long as things went along smoothly we were a perfect couple. But things don’t always go along smoothly & at 20 years (of us) I began to cause my own normally serene self to panic: wondering, ‘if I don’t do SOMEthing, will I end up spending my “golden years” with someone who breaks things, shouts me down & pole vaults over anthills?’ So, I divorced at 59. Neither option STILL looks any good to me in hindsight. The only thing that keeps me from a “One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoo’s-Nest” situation (because rather than homeless, I’d probably end up ‘committed’), is my faith (unwavering) in God. And the mantra, “One Day at a Time.” And another “maxim-type phrase” I’ve heard along the way, and that is: “I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I thought I had to keep it up for a lifetime.” So, while maybe my sharing hasn’t been right on topic, maybe you’ll find something in it to give you hope — as, in the past, your efforts at “doing SOMEthing” to better your ‘abuse’ situation has/have given me. Just a touch of hope. One day (or 12 hours?) at a time. I’ll pray for your intentions. ~Peggy (aka Virtually_Hear, aka Virtually_Here)

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