Fix and Please

Quietone said that she remembers me saying my desire to “fix and please” plays a factor in the abuse. She is right. If I took down this site, it would be to please Will; the more I think on it, the more I realize that removing my blog is another way to erase me.

Fix & Please: Excerpt from My Abusive Marriage...and what happened when i left itIf this blog were to vanish, then (as Erin says) our transgressions would just “go away”. It would be like the abuse (and codependency) didn’t exist.

I’m taking a different course of action.

The blog stays, but I will do everything in my power to remove any trace of my “real” name from this site. In time, the only way someone could figure out “who I am” is to go to the courthouse in the county in which I live and dig through the volumes of documents to find me. And I really doubt that anyone’s curiosity would extend to such extremes. I’ve had this site privacy protected in the whois directory since its inception. If you go to and look up this domain name, you get NOTHING about me.

Will said that when he typed his name into google, all kinds of crap turned up about abuse. Well, I just typed in his name and guess what? There is nothing about abuse there. In fact, there’s precious little except an offer to find him in the white pages.

Will said he typed his name into google & "crap" turned up about abuse. I just typed in his name and guess what? There is nothing about abuse & him online.Under my real name, I get hits on my volunteer work here in town and contributions to wikipedia concerning that work…nothing about abuse.

“Kellie Jo Holly” is the only name that turns up hits on abuse.

Interesting, no?

I think it says a lot about me that I took his word on this and tormented myself for a week about it when I could have done the google search in the beginning and put my mind at ease immediately.

I want to do a better job verifying facts when it comes to our relationship. I’ve been with him for so long that I don’t fact check him anymore. Why would one “fact check” their lover?

Maybe I’ll change my view on fact checking everyone. From now on, if I can’t verify your feelings on google, I’m not paying attention to them.

I’m kidding. 🙂 Feelings cannot be fact checked, but proclamations of fact can be verified! Ronald Reagan said, “Trust, but verify.” I think that’s a great idea.

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About Kellie Jo Holly

Kellie Jo Holly passionately advocates against domestic violence through her writing and mentoring service. She loves helping women cope with abuse while in the relationship and supporting them as they leave the relationship and begin to heal. You can also find Kellie on Google+, Facebook and Twitter. You can buy her books from Amazon.


  1. Can I get a “Woop Woop”?!

    And please, Google me…

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