What Was I Doing in the Missing Years?

Recently Will accused me of not seeking work even though he was very worried about me staying at home alone so much of the time without friends. Somehow I missed his words encouraging me to “go to work” and his later “begging” that I find a job. I remember him telling me to wait until the kids were out of the house and I had the free time needed to pursue the real career and education I desired.

He has a very different perception from me when it concerns my activities of the past 18 years.

I want to find my record. I want to know I existed. I want to remember what I was doing or maybe figure out why I wasn't doing much.So anyway, I put together a timeline of my marriage showing when I worked, when I wanted to work, when I went to school, when I didn’t. Why I worked when I did and why I closed up shop or quit working. It’s quite the exhaustive list.

However, I’m missing the years 2005 and 2006 on my time line. I know I was working with my mother and sister on our coaching business, but I have no real record of events like I do for the other years (IRS partnership tax filings show no profits, so Will said it wasn’t a real business. Shows what he knows.) I haven’t found my journals covering the time period. Maybe I didn’t journal at all during that time (doubtful, but maybe).

So despite the fact that I have marketing research to conduct and two resumes to write and some work on a friend’s site to complete, I am going to ignore all of that for now. I want to find my record. I want to know I existed. I want to remember what I was doing or maybe figure out why I wasn’t doing much.

And, honestly and more ominously, I want to prove him wrong. That is pointless, I know. He would diminish or counter everything I found relating to my timeline if I showed it as proof.

“You could write anything and no one would know whether it was the truth or a lie – you live in such a la-la land!” He says in my mind. Shut up. I’m doing it anyway.

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About Kellie Jo Holly

Kellie Jo Holly passionately advocates against domestic violence through her writing and mentoring service. She loves helping women cope with abuse while in the relationship and supporting them as they leave the relationship and begin to heal. You can also find Kellie on Google+, Facebook and Twitter. You can buy her books from Amazon.

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