Recently Will accused me of not seeking work even though he was very worried about me staying at home alone so much of the time without friends. Somehow I missed his words encouraging me to “go to work” and his later “begging” that I find a job. I remember him telling me to wait until the kids were out of the house and I had the free time needed to pursue the real career and education I desired.
He has a very different perception from me when it concerns my activities of the past 18 years.
So anyway, I put together a timeline of my marriage showing when I worked, when I wanted to work, when I went to school, when I didn’t. Why I worked when I did and why I closed up shop or quit working. It’s quite the exhaustive list.
However, I’m missing the years 2005 and 2006 on my time line. I know I was working with my mother and sister on our coaching business, but I have no real record of events like I do for the other years (IRS partnership tax filings show no profits, so Will said it wasn’t a real business. Shows what he knows.) I haven’t found my journals covering the time period. Maybe I didn’t journal at all during that time (doubtful, but maybe).
So despite the fact that I have marketing research to conduct and two resumes to write and some work on a friend’s site to complete, I am going to ignore all of that for now. I want to find my record. I want to know I existed. I want to remember what I was doing or maybe figure out why I wasn’t doing much.
And, honestly and more ominously, I want to prove him wrong. That is pointless, I know. He would diminish or counter everything I found relating to my timeline if I showed it as proof.
“You could write anything and no one would know whether it was the truth or a lie – you live in such a la-la land!” He says in my mind. Shut up. I’m doing it anyway.