Once he told me that he missed talking and dreaming together after sex. He missed the pillow talk. I wonder if he still misses it.
I’m not certain that I remember sweetness after love-making. I wonder if he’s thinking about someone else.
In a way, if he is remembering me, he is remembering someone else. Someone who felt cherished and nurtured. Someone who felt safe. Someone I was almost 20 years ago.
I want to be me with him again.
I wonder if I am remembering who was or who I wanted to be.
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How true are your memories? Do you know for sure? Please share what you think kept you with your abuser in the comments below.