Earlier tonight, Marc raised his voice to his dad. Will swiftly replied, “Don’t raise your voice to me! I’m really tired of your fuckin’ mouth.”
Marc immediately said, “Okay, I’m sorry, Dad.” Will told him what he wanted to tell him, and they went their separate ways.
It made me wonder why Marc would react so respectfully when his dad used harsh language, but so “teenager-ish” and disrespectfully when I did it the other night. Specifically, when I “commanded” his respect during our argument. It bugged me. A lot.
I was thinking it was because of the talk we had last night – that maybe Marc decided to be more respectful to both of us. But I just had to ask him.
When he came inside to do the dishes, I asked if he landed his trick, and he said he had after his dad left. I said that what I was going to ask him may be irrelevant because of our talk last night, but I had to ask because it was bugging me. So I just spit it out. “Why were you so respectful of your dad when he raised his voice to you about your tone of voice, but you weren’t that way with me?”
His answer really surprised me. He said, “I don’t care to talk to dad. If I screw up with you, I know we’ll talk about it. Dad doesn’t care to talk to me at all. He treats me like I’m his bitch or something.”
“Oh.” And that’s all I could say while I wrapped my head around what he said. Finally I said that I was glad I asked because my answer had been wrong. He asked me what I had thought, and I said, “I thought you respected him more than me.”
Marc said, “No, it’s just the opposite. I respect him less.”
More Posts About Domestic Violence with Children:
Letting Go of Teen’s Choices After He’s Lived with Domestic Violence